June 5, 2007
He smoothly closes the car door for me after making sure I am comfortably situated. After finding his place in the driver’s seat, he leans over to me and with a twinkle in his eye, a slightly raised eyebrow, and a smile on his lips he says, “Tunes, Babe?”
With the push of a button our airspace is flooded with music. Our music.
It’s raining silver.
Yes, it is our 25th wedding anniversary. And just like 25 years ago he initiates our date with “Tunes, Babe?”
We met on a college campus. I was a music major, soon to graduate with that overly full 160 credit New York certificate in Music Education, Church Music, and Piano. Life was busy. He was working on high rise elevators in New York City, but spending every available minute in recording studios, writing for college groups, and generally being the music whiz in the college and church scene along the Hudson River. Sometimes he was in NY City to arrange or play for groups there. He had the reputation of being fluent in many kinds of music and performing mediums.
I auditioned for pianist for a 65 member tour group that would take “World Missions in Review” throughout the northern states and Canada. After securing my position, James Spangler was appointed the music director for the trip, much to my dismay. I had not even met him yet, but was dreading it. He was Mr. Popularity, the Music Man of Nyack-on-Hudson and I knew I couldn’t light a musical candle to match his. How would I survive a tour under the authority of this guy?
That’s until one day he sat with me on the bus. The rest of the trip is history, including the afternoon at Niagara Falls when we knew there was something special in the air. We were married a year later. He played a thirty minute classical concert for the prelude until I walked the aisle with my precious father to be given away to this Music Man. It was a candle lit church on a gorgeous Saturday evening, a ceremony laced with music arranged by the groom for organ and trumpet and violin, and finally we played together his four hand piano duet of “Saviour Like a Shepherd Lead Us” on the grand piano to a tearful congregation. (It truly brought the crowd down.) A few minutes later we stepped out of the church into a misty rainfall streaked with sunlight beams peeking through the sunset (what I would have ordered if I could order the weather) and we stepped out into married life.
Our honeymoon was a secret – not just to everyone else, but to me too. He planned the whole surprise. We went to where we could be by ourselves – a quaint, restored Vermont town and had the time of our lives in the New England countryside.
There are probably a trillion things I could write about our married life, but there are a few things that I would like to record here for my children’s benefit. Things I never want them to forget. I am so grateful that James has fulfilled everything that my father instructed to him concerning my care and protection. James also was commited to make sure that I achieved the things that my father envisioned for me in my life. Although my father has been with the Lord for nineteen years, James continues to fulfill these things.
I am also thankful that James has fulfilled his patriarchal responsibilities in such a manner that I am loved, honored, cherished, guided, protected, nourished, and a whole lot of other verbs that would make a very long list. The only regret I have in our married life is any cross word I’ve ever spoken to him.
Courtship was an extinct word in the 1980’s. Yet it amazes me the many elements of courtship that occurred in our relationship back then. My father gave his permission and blessing to our relationship, engagement, and marriage which to this day we consider a continual blessing in our lives. My in-laws were in favor of the arrangement and gave their blessing (and a little push too from his mom). We individually made lists of what we desired in a mate – over 100 items – that for the most part were centered on issues of spiritual commitment, family life, and music. Our commitment was made for life and we memorized our vows so that we could publicly take a stand with the words in our heads and hearts. We carefully planned our wedding ceremony to contain elements that reflected God’s view of marriage. The ceremony and the condition of our hearts were more important to us than the typical wedding fare of gowns, flowers, and food. Well, OK, I admit it. The music was important too.
That brings me to my only prayer at this point of married life … that someday it will rain gold on us. And that on that golden day, he’ll still lean over and whisper, “Tunes, Babe?”
