This Thanksgiving was a little different.  We did the usual Creepy Crawlers and the Thanksgiving meal.  The unusual thing was that a cowboy showed up early this morning in overalls, a straw hat and a bandana.  He twirled Abigail around the den just as the morning sun streaked in the eastern windows. 

We also have a house guest for two weeks.  Here is Miss Cassie.  She’s a miniature Australian Shepherd.

As we enter this season of Thanksgiving and Advent, I praise the Lord for the godly heritage He has given me in that my maternal grandparents were Christians, and so were my parents.   My grandparents became Christians later on in life.  I do not remember them as my grandmother died four days before I was born and my grandfather not long after that, but I do own several silent movies of the last year or two of their lives that my father shot. 

My mother dropped out of high school when she was in 10th grade because my grandparents were so poor that she had to go to work.  My grandmother cleaned for people and sometimes my mother would go along to help her.  One place they cleaned was a boarding house in Middletown, Pennsylvania where my father lived while he was in the service at Olmstead Air Force Base.   The year was 1943 and this, of course, was World War II.  So my mother and father met, went to Shamokin a few weeks later to visit relatives, and decided to get married then and there. 

Some time after that my grandparents came to Christ.  Following conversion, my grandparent’s immediate concern was for their daughters who did not know Christ.  At this time my mother was already married to my father and my two brothers were just little guys.  My parents had already decided not to have any more children as my brothers were a handful and society was leaning the direction of small families.   My grandparents attempted to share Christ with my parents, but each time they tried my mom and dad would change the subject or walk away.  Not giving up easily, my grandparents purchased a boat and would take my folks out on the lake to fish where it was harder for them to escape when the topic of Jesus Christ came up.   The diligence of my grandparents paid off.  My parents came to Christ and years later my father told me about his conversion at age 30.  There was an immediate change in his life.  He had smoked two packs of cigarettes a day since he had been 12.  He quit smoking overnight and he found a Bible church to attend three times weekly, which our family did for the next 30 years.  He read his Bible and collected a wall full of commentaries and old Christian authors.  My father’s Bible at the time of his death was worn out and falling apart and as a child I remember seeing him read and pray each morning as I prepared to go to school.  I am the result of my parent’s conversion as they reversed their decision concerning children and three little girls were born over the next ten years.

This is my mother, Jane.  She was a published poet and writer, part time radio talk show gal, played the piano and loved music, made incredible Pa. Dutch deserts, excelled as a keeper of her home, and she loved to laugh.   One thing has been said of her by many people and that is that she was a terrific mom.   In first grade she sewed my costume,  Little Bo Peep, for the school Halloween parade and I won first place out of 300 costumes.  That was after she kept me home for kindergarten, since it was not mandatory and she wanted her children home with her as long as she could.   She loved to throw parties and her rule was the quantity of colors on a birthday cake equal to how good her child was during the year.   Miraculously, we all had extremely colorful birthday cakes year by year.    She read books to us, took us hiking-swimming-fishing-to the zoo-and all kinds of places a kid loves to go, let us eat donuts in her bed on Saturday mornings while we watched Bugs Bunny, and she always had cats and dogs and hamsters and bunnies and birds around.  And she loved Christmas.  Just loved it.  My happiest memories are of Christmas.

This is the last picture I have of my mom and is one of my most precious possessions.  It was taken Christmas 1965.  I am the blonde in the center front of the picture.  My mother died 2 months later in a car accident at the age of 39.   My oldest brother died a few months later in the Viet Nam War.   It has been a challenge my entire life to walk life’s journey without my mother.  The longer I go without her, the harder it becomes.  The longer I go without her, the deeper I have walked with my Lord and claimed His promises when I sense the lack of maternal love and insight in my life.   The longer I go without her, the more I appreciate the six years I did have with her.  And this week she is near the top of my Thanksgiving list after my husband and my father.    She would know what I mean since she lost her own dear mother before all of her children were born and raised.

In honor of my mother, this year I am doing something different.  She loved to put tinsel on the tree, one strand at a time.  I remember my father teasing her by throwing it on in clumps and she would exclaim, “Oh, Rollie, not like that!”   Today tinsel is not popular due to animal activist groups who claim it is harmful to pets to the point that very little of it is manufactured and sold.  To my delight,  I found a box of tinsel at the thrift store for nineteen cents and I think I will place it strand by strand wherever it will hang in our house.   On the furniture.  On the lights.  Across the piano lid.  Since I am of German descent and tinsel is from 17th century Germany, I think I will consider this a Family Heritage Moment. 

Later I will post the only poem written by my mother that remains in my possession.  The events in my life turned out in such a way that someone endeavoured to erase our memories of her and anything we owned of hers.  Some things providentially slipped through the cracks and remain in my possession and though scantily few, they are treasures to me.

May the Lord remind me every day to love my husband and children to the greatest extent I possibly can as I don’t know the date of my homegoing and it could be right on the horizon.  We never know how many days we have left, and aren’t I ever glad that my mother made that 1965 holiday ever so special.  Thanks, Mother.

In the 1689 London Baptist Confession of Faith,  Chapter 12 reads this way:

All those that are justified, God vouchsafed, in and for the sake of His only Son Jesus Christ, to make partakers of the grace of adoption, by which they are taken into the number, and enjoy the liberties and privileges of children of God, have His name put on them, receive the spirit of adoption, have access to the throne of grace with boldness, are enabled to cry Abba, Father, are pitied, protected, provided for, and chastened by Him as by a Father, yet never cast off, but sealed to the day of redemption, and inherit the promises as heirs of everlasting salvation.

I read through this several times to grab the meanings of all the words and just how vast God’s grace is in adopting us.  Over the years I have hoped that James and I would be able to adopt a child but that has never come to fruition.  Earthly adoption is a beautiful picture of spiritual adoption and a means to spread Christ’s love to a child in need and further the Gospel.  Several of my daughters hope to adopt a child, or two, or three someday.  The Van Surksum adoption (read here) made quite an impact on our family. 

It is with much joy that I announce the adoption of Tiana Grace Spangler.  My husband’s brother Gene and his wife Marsha, along with their daughter Alexis, have cared for Tia for quite some time and on November 10th the adoption of this sweet little girl became official.  This is particularly dear to my heart because I have prayed for another child for this family for ten years.   There are not too many things that I have prayed for day after day for so many years.

What makes this adoption different than others I have known is that my brother-in-law was adopted into my husband’s family.   James was 14 when Gene was adopted at the age of 4.  The stories James has told me about his little brother at that time are just precious and James clearly remembers standing before the judge and giving verbal affirmation to wanting his new brother.  So this picture I am posting here is a picture of multi-generational adoption.  

May the Lord bless the Spangler clan with faithfulness in all the coming generations of Spanglers, until He tarries no more and ushers in heaven for us all. 

It happened again.  This morning I put on my dunce cap again.  It seems like that cap never gets to collect dust. 

I was on the phone making a hair appointment with my hair dresser and I was clueless over the time we were agreeing upon because I just didn’t get it.   Now you have to know something about my hair dresser.  She’s a gem.  In the sixteen years of going to her country shop, I have been overly blessed with her southern drawl, her family ties to little towns all over Texas, her colorful conversation, her lively shop where I have gleaned how to make southern dishes from her and her clients, and her explanations of Texan culture to me.  She’s a real doll.  But this morning I could not puts “heads and tails” to what we were talking about until I connected the dots.  I was thinking Thursday.  She was thinking “i’ mo-nin.”  It finally dawned on me that she wanted me to come tomorrow, “in the morning.”

A few years ago I had a British friend who laughed at me frequently because she found my Pennsylvania Dutch expressions a hilarity.   On the other hand, I had to mentally tie “boot” with the trunk of a car and other British expressions to keep up with her.  We had fun figuring each other out.  I tried to learn her British accent which put her in stitches as my attempt was pathetic.  I now use my “British” accent every time I read Beatrix Potter to my little ones.  They don’t laugh, because they don’t have a clue as to how bad it is.  My older children roll their eyes at my Hopeglish.  That’s OK.  Who knows what a British rat sounds like anyway.

This morning I mentioned an encouraging comment to my older children… that yesterday a friend at church had said to me, “Well, wazn’t that just a blessin’ from the Lo’d!” in her beautiful, charming southern drawl.  My children giggled and informed me that she says it a lot.  They also informed me that they call it a “Maresa-ism” in honor of her charm.  I smiled too because she is such a blessing to others.  If only I could pull off such a melodious voice with warm fuzzies attached to it. 

To console myself, I have listed below my dunce cap points, where I fail as a southern and as a Texan and as a warm fuzzie.  To my dear southern friends, and my hair dresser, I love you all dearly and hope that I can catch on a little faster.  Until then, please pardon me.

You know you’re a Yankee if …

*  for breakfast you’d rather have potatoes than grits and you would never eat any pea that has an eye in it, no matter what color it is.

*  you’ve never eaten okra, and aren’t sure it’s edible anyway.

*  you wonder why people in retaurants don’t talk as loud as you do.

*  you have never planned your summer vacation around a gun and knife show.

*  you don’t see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle and you would never put your poodle in the back of a truck.

*  you don’t think overlapping sentences with another person is interrupting but it’s just the flow of conversation.

*  you refer to two or more people as “you guys” instead of “y’all.”

*  you prefer a bagel over a donut.

*  you don’t know anyone who goes by both their first and middle names.

*  you don’t know what a Piggly-Wiggly is.  (For a long time I wondered if it was a new title for the song about this little pig went to market.)

*  you eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.

*  you use the horn in your car more than once or twice a year.

*  you don’t “reckon.”

*  you’re not “fixin” to do anything.

*  a bag is a bag, not a sack.  The only thing that is a sack is an old burlap thing that holds potatoes and you threw it away long ago.  You would also never bring a sack into your house.

*  you don’t know how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, and so forth make up “a mess.”

*  you have no idea of exactly when “by and by” is. 

*  you did not grow up knowing the difference between “right near” and “a right far piece.” 

*  “right down the road” means within eyesight distance, not 10 or 20 miles away.

*  you were never taught that “fixin” can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

*  you drink ice tea only in July, and it is never overly sweet.  And you never get a refill. 

*  you wear a sweater on Labor Day.

*  you wear your fur lined coat the day after Labor Day.

*  your ears have only heard “yes, ma’am” said venomously so therefore it is just about equal to swearing.

*  you don’t know anyone who has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.

*  you choose your parking space by the distance to the door, not by the availability of shade. 

*  you think a funnel is a kitchen tool, not something to chase outside.

*  you don’t think everything goes better with Ranch.  (For the first few years I lived in the South I was totally confused.  I thought they called a wrench Ranch.  “Hand me that ranch, Homer.”  Thankfully, I’ve got it figured out now.)

*  you don’t know that “y’all” is singular and “all y’all” is plural. 

*  you don’t know that “all y’all’s” is plural possessive.

*  your definition of a proper greeting is recognizing the other person from several feet away.

*  you wonder what a crawdad could possibly be.   Is this your father who crawled under the sink to fix the plumbing?

*  you wonder why the slightest prediction of snow brings the entire neighborhood to the grocery store.

*  you wonder why possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet straight up.

*  it takes you five years to figure out that “Jeet?” means “Did you eat?”

*  you did not learn to drive on a John Deere.

*  you keep looking for a Coffee House but only find a Waffle House.

My children have often asked me if we are northern or sourthern since all of them were born in Texas.  I never know quite what to say, but I read the following on a southern woman’s website …

If you do settle in the South and bear children, don’t think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn’t call ‘em biscuits!

This same website gave me the following advice ….

The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner’s vocabulary is the adjective “big’ol,” as in “big’ol truck or “big’ol boy”.  Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.

And, you know, she’s right.  I got off the phone with my hair dresser this morning and said, “I just made a big ol’ mistake!”  The strap on the dunce cap must have been tied too tight.

If you have caught up with the housework, and particularly if you have just vacuumed and mopped all of the floors and your house looks as close to a magazine as it possibly can with so many people underfoot …… never-ever-EVER pop three bags of popcorn and give them to your children under 12 and then leave them unsupervised.

I have been asked why I have posted so little on Mom’s Point of View during 2008.    This is not because I don’t have many articles on biblical womanhood in my files.  In fact, I have written more than thirty articles this year that are down to the final edit.  So why not post?

There are several issues that swirl around in my head every time I am about to hit the “publish” button.  The first is that in the home education blogging world, several flaws seem to stand out to me.  One is that much of what I read is a regurgitation of what prominent home school leaders have written elsewhere.   And I find some of the regurgitation is without critical thinking or is without a sifting of what has been written.   A prominent, fresh example of this is the election trail of the past two months.   I concluded that no one had reached bedrock because the repetitive silt layer was easier to navigate.   It gave a sense of belonging to those who formed camps.  I came to the conclusion that no one was completely consistent within his own position and there was no admission of loose ends.  My husband and I actually came to a voting conclusion that I don’t recall reading anywhere and we readily admit that our position was not air-tight either.   So, on our blogs here in our home we don’t want to repetively repeat things we are reading elsewhere.  Instead we want to be fresh with what God is doing in our lives, what we are learning, and we don’t want to follow anyone other than Jesus Christ, with devotion to His Words to the best that we understand them and apply them.  Having said that, we do not consider ourselves to be autonomous in understanding the scriptures.  We are under the authority of a local church, have Christian friends that we dialogue with, and frequently go back to older references such as the saints of the past who have left their writings and commentaries for us to consider.  

Another issue that appears to be a flaw to me is that blogs come across as being self-righteous.   In many ways when I hit that “publish” button, I am in control of my own image.  If I do admit to a weakness or a failure, I am at full liberty to tell about it within the boundaries of what I want known or do not want known.  For anyone who knows me, you know that putting up an inflated image for others to admire just bugs me.  While I do agree that we should aspire to excellence and demonstrating the fruit of the Spirit, I disagree with painting an image of myself or my family that gives the impression that we have the answers or that we have it all packaged up and ready for display.  If I read my Bible correctly, and if I am willing to look at my heart honestly, I know that the invasion of sin there is a constant battle.  And our family is not one to be put up on a pedestal.  We have lots of problems and challenges, and we don’t have all the answers.  We are sinners saved by grace.  Period.   End of story.  This is not to say that God has not done great things in us and through us that we can share with others.  It’s a parallel reality like the train tracks.  Good and bad run concurrently.   I hope that my blog would send the focus to Christ and not to ourselves.   To glorify ourselves would be shameful.  This year it has become more painful for me to hit the “publish” button just because I am concerned about the hyper-inflation in the home education blogging world.    

I would also like to mention that I have only seen two instances in the blogging world when someone came out and said they were wrong on an issue or they mistreated another person on their blog or that a movement or para-church organization had been wrong.   I most often see a post or article deleted instead of addressed when something goes haywire.  Hmmmm.   Sometimes I think it would be wise to look at the groups we travel in and raise the level of honesty.  Do our groups foster an accurate portrayal or do they support a kind of corporate falseness?  It takes a great deal of humility, and reliance on God’s sovereignty to move and shake this world for Christ to live honestly and effectively.  This means we should not depend on technology networking to accomplish His purposes, but rather cautiously use it as a tool.  And it means we should not hyper-inflate ourselves to promote our cause.

I also fear that we have some James 2 attitudes floating around.  I have read posts that evaluate biblical girlhood and womanhood by 1)  quality of clothing thereby dividing the frumpies from the fashionable,  2)  by educational achievement thereby creating an intellectual hierarchy that makes one woman more valuable over another based on how academically articulate she is , and  3)  by economic standing.  I have even read that a young single woman will not be interesting to a single man unless she has intellectual prowess and the ability to stimulate him.  This crushes the worth of young ladies who are not intellectually astute, have learning disabilities and differences, and yet may be some of the best followers of Jesus Christ and would make terrific wives and mothers.  We might as well devalue young ladies who are faithfully being educated by parents with little means economically and academically but are faithful none the less.   Add to this the girl that has not had the opportunity and means to travel outside of her home town to the list of unworthies, even though the Providence of God has made this so.  This devalues the perseverance many young ladies acquire as they faithfully serve in homes that are under heavy medical trials, it devalues those who are helping their mothers who are still bearing children in their late 40s, and it does not take into account good works done in secret which many girls and women are performing daily for our Lord.   There are women out there who are not intellectually stimulating, nor of ample financial status, but who are living the “one another” commands of the New Testament with a large degree of excellence.  Some of these James 2 posts are discouraging and written by those with a high level of education and ample financial resources.  These blessings from the Lord to these writers can subtly become a haughty platform or a pillar for prosperity gospel.  I’ll leave my comments at that and mention that I hope that the wonderful blessings God has bestowed on me and my family will reflect my wonderful Lord and His unique working in our lives and not become ways for me to categorize others and judge their degree of success.  I want to be effective in sharing those blessings with others without creating an aura of superiority.

Since I am a woman who believes in the biblical design for women specifically in a literal and applied way, another issue that has tripped me up in publishing is how to be intellectually sharp, biblically grounded, courageous, and obedient … but at the same time be feminine, womanly, motherly, nurturing, and have the “ornament of a quiet and gentle spirit” as written in I Peter 3:4.   In the home school conservative blogging world of women I sense a manly and militant spirit in many of the writings that come from women and their daughters who claim to be against feminism.  This has been going on for some time, but it was particularly evident during the election hype with posts discussing a female vice president with sarcasm and ugliness and name calling.  I wondered if any of these female writers could read their posts in a respectful manner to the female candidate in person, and remember that she has a title that goes with her last name.    The candidate was verbally rough housed as if we women were in a gymnasium fighting with boxing gloves.  Pretty feminine, huh?  So I am in somewhat of a quandry of how to write effectively and yet remain totally a girl.  I love being a girl and I don’t want to be a boy.  I don’t want to sound like a boy and I don’t want to write like one.  There have been many influences in my life to the contrary and I want to abandon those and become more girly every day.  I fear that the Christian women who are striving to live biblically have forgotten Proverbs 31:26 … and in her mouth is the law of kindness.  My Hebrew dictionary describes the “kindness” used in this verse as full of piety, merciful, beautiful, and kindly.   So I want to be an example of kindness in my writing and yet be able to hit the nail on the head if need be.   

My last issue is a personal one.  I have had people meet me who knew me first through our family blog.  Some have read one or two of my articles, some read them all.  Their thinking lined up with mine.  Or they learned something new.  Or they admired the fact that I posted something that goes contrary to our culture and they gained courage themselves to stand against the cultural landslide we are suffering.  But then to their shock they meet me face to face and find out that I have flaws and struggles and that physically I suffer several ailments.   It’s like a deflated balloon.  I am much better on paper than in real life.  So after the balloon deflates, those who have read me change in their view of me.  I have interpreted their subsequent conversations and mannerisms toward me to be that I have failed them or that I just don’t measure up.   And you know, I really don’t.  I admit it.  I don’t live biblical womanhood at a pedestal level.  Most things I barely have off the ground.  There are things that I am not even aware of that I should be working on.

So what is the basic problem?  It’s cyberspace relationships.   

Cyberspace ….from the Greek kybernts: steersman, governor, pilot, or rudder — is the global domain of electro-magnetics accessed through electronic technology and exploited through the modulation of electromagnetic energy to achieve a wide range of communication and control system capabilities.

We are now a people of Internet Culture.  Let’s get more specific.  We are now Christian women of Internet Culture.  Read the above Greek root again.  The Internet is steering us, governing us, piloting us, and it has become our rudder.

I think this is wrong. 

There was a time when women had no relationships in outer space.  I am old enough to remember that time.  There was once a time when women did not have to go to a women’s seminar and read the latest book to be sufficiently bolstered to live their Christian life.  I am old enough to remember that time too.  There was a time when women did not have to get out away from their families for refreshment, nor did they need girlfriend weekends or mid-week girlfriend dates.  And there was a time when women did not have to have so many material things and activities to be content and they did not even vote in elections (!) and so forth.  Do you know that their influence was incredible, putting the modern day woman to shame?  My daughters and I studied this and found out what women used to really do in their homes and communities.  Let me say it again.  They were incredible.  They were influential.  They were about the business of women.  Interestingly, once women’s suffrage was achieved, women transferred their responsibilities to the civil government both in their daily actions and their voting, creating “mother government” which we all know is swallowing us up.  Today as Christian women we are a rather sickly, ineffectual lot of women that are whining and complaining and wallowing in selfishness.  Historically we can trace these factors: the breakdown of the famly household, the rise of secular feminism, the feminization of the church, and the watering down of the sufficiency of scripture … all reasons why so many of us in 2008 desire and depend upon crutches that have nothing to do with the true disciplines of the Christian life. 

My personal belief is that the computer has done more to make relationships shallow than to build them.  I’ve already referred to the fact that anyone can represent themselves in however they want to on the internet.   So it is a rather plastic image.  Blogs are rather like brochures.  To add to that, the computer keeps us from truly being a keeper “at home” because it takes us instantly out into the world  to shop anywhere we want, read just about anything we want, connect with people everywhere outside of our home, and be part of the world.  I wonder if some of Biblical Womanhood Cyberspace is contrary to combating feminism.  The scripture does not say “keeper of the world” yet the Internet in many ways is actually the world.  We have women who are spending large chunks of time out in the world while writing that they are committed to being keepers of their homes.  The minute any of us is on the computer and says to our child, “Just a sec,” well, that’s when we need to hit the off button.    I have a funny feeling that too many of us say “just a sec” multiple times each day to our children, to our husbands, and to our churches.

The Internet is spawning peer dependency.  Much of Biblical Womanhood is peer to peer and not as much older woman to younger woman.  Some of the younger women have complained on their blogs about the older women, and yet at the same time they will box an older woman in by saying that if the older woman writes anything, well here are the specifications of how and what they can write.  It is no wonder that older women have declined to share with the younger women.   

I am also concerned about the virtual youth group out there.  My husband and I were looking at this the other day and he just shook his head and said that this is not beneficial.  This is happening in family integrated circles and it is not good.  This is like throwing out all the bad but not replacing it with what is right.  We then end up exactly where we began. 

What is NOT lacking in this world is cyberspace women talking.  What is needed in this world is Christian women effectually working at the local level in their homes first and then in their churches and finally in their communities.  In the midst of feminism and a cultural landslide against God’s design for living, we have short changed ourselves and our churches and our communities by turning our Christianity into something in outer space that is not breathing right here and right now in our own backyard.   We are on the Jetson Plan.  Here of late I have wondered if the local church was God’s plan or is para-church cyberspace God’s plan?  To me, the transfer from the local church to the global electronic church is a bit like local government being swallowed up by the federal government.  Someone “out there” is controlling my own backyard yet has never even seen it.

If there is one change that I would love to see in my lifetime, it is the establishment of several local churches in my area where the following occurs:

That there be women laboring in their homes in following their husbands with a beautiful and tender spirit, gladly nurturing their children in the admonition of the Lord, applying their intellect and giftings in amazing ways,

That these same women draw together in community with their sisters in Christ in their local church, applying much grace and service to one another with great zeal and unfailing commitment against dissension, practicing hospitality and love in great measure,

And that these women be effectual in their communities in reaching out to those who do not know Christ and in caring for the homeless, widowed and orphaned as this is true religion.

I have not seen this in my lifetime.  And I humbly submit that I don’t really even know how to do these things myself but that I am willing to pioneer that road.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

So what do we do with the computer?  Use it with caution and only when it aids us with our life purpose.  Here are some ideas to get you started.

1.   Do not read the computer if you have not read your Bible in the last 24 hours.  

2.   Do not do not read the computer if you have not labored in prayer in the last 24 hours.

3.   Do not read the computer if you are out of relationship with your husband or if there is something you can do today to aid him in family worship .  If your husband has any need that is not attended to, fill that need first. 

4.   Do not read the computer if it causes you to ignore your children’s needs today.  Also, make a plan with your husband concerning your children’s time spent on the computer.

5.   Do not read the computer if you have not practiced hospitality to the families in your church or if you are not building relationships in your church.  Hospitality will build your church like nothing else can.  If you don’t have a hospitality plan, make one.  Also helpful are short emails or notes to your sisters in Christ along with praying for these sisters as they come to your mind.

6.   Do not read the computer if you know of needs within your local church that you can fill through prayer or service.

7.   Do not read the computer if you have abandoned the Great Commision in telling someone about Christ and it is on your conscience.   Prepare to take care of that.

8.   Do not read the computer if you have not exercised today.  You need health and energy to nurture your children.  The computer is no different than the television: it turns us into couch potatoes.  Go take a brisk walk every day with your children.  We call it family integrated physical education.

9.   Do have someone put a lock on your computer between 10 pm and 6 am.  My husband actually programmed ours to shut off between 9 pm and 6 am, giving our family a full nine hour break with no temptation.  You need rest and sleep.  Don’t let the computer draw you in just like those who watch late night television.  Nothing on the computer is worth it.  Don’t let the computer be your late night companion.  The computer is keeping Christian women from physical intimacy in their marriages.  Women have alluded this to me several times.  This is a grievous thing to trade marital love for a machine.   

10.  Do be strategic in computer reading.  

       Determine ahead of time what the Christian standard for reading is.  Consider a commitment to not enter into anything that is defiling or draws you into sin or areas that you are tend to fail.  After that, what I do is that I have several key places I can visit once a month that give me the general idea of what is going on in Christian circles.  These can be skimmed in little time. I clocked this and the last time it took me about 40 minutes to do that.  And this is just once a month.    Then I have several women that I enjoy reading who are older than I am and farther down the path that are mature Christians and have children older than I do.  These I read weekly, skimming their articles and posts and only lingering in those things that catch my eye.  Then I browse a few younger women’s blogs because I truly care about the young home schooling mothers and want to keep abreast of what they are thinking.   At that time I may catch a glimpse into a young lady who is not yet married.  I do not spend my time on websites that take me into the battles that my husband is fighting unless he needs me to for some reason.  And recently I made a commitment not to go to places that cause me to abandon a quiet and gentle spirit since I am working hard on being more amiable.   I added up the total weekly reading time and I have it down to twenty minutes every other day.

       Another smart idea is to have a “link policy” because those links on the sidebar can be a real time waster.  Determine ahead of time if and when and how many links you will accept into your life. 

11.  Don’t compare your family to others that are blogging.  Remember that blogs are brochures.  Each family has their own path and their own giftings.  Enjoy the variety in the body of Christ.

12.  Don’t read women who have a problem with authority or have a rebellious spirit.   They will become contentious companions.  

13.  Do be willing to wait on the growth of your children to fill your adult social desires.  Your children will grow to be your friends and they will bless you like no cyberspace relationship can.  I have a 22 year old daughter who I truly call my adult friend, but it took 20 years to have the relationship bloom into that. 

14.  Don’t depend on the computer for your main diet of reading.  Do keep three books on your nightstand.  One of them could be a deep book, perhaps a theological work or a Puritan writer that is digging up the ground of your mind and making it more fertile and serious towards things of God.  The second book could be of value to your calling as a woman, such as a homeschooling method book or women’s issues or a book on the Christian life or a literary classic.  The third book could be light reading such as a cookbook or maybe a book about how to quilt or how to celebrate holidays.  Having these three levels of reading on your nightstand means you always have something available to read according to how much brain power you have at the moment.   I also keep a copy of Baxter’s Christian Directory on hand because I am always looking up something in there. 

15.   If you yourself are blogging, set the perimeters of what that means.  And evaluate the season of life that you are in and whether or not this is the right time to be blogging.  What does your husband think about your blogging time?

An additional computer tip:  Make your shopping list first.  And I mean first.  Then if computer shopping can fill that need, go directly to the places that will fill it.  Window shopping on the computer is a waste of time and it breeds discontentment.  Don’t shop for things you can’t afford and don’t get pulled into email advertising.  Even browsing the “free” ads can be a waste of time.  I caught myself doing that months ago and wondered if that was really redeeming the time for the Lord. 

If you have found yourself addicted to the computer, consider a fast.  I have done this several times when I’ve gone over the edge with this black box.  The first few days are difficult, but once the chains of bondage are broken, what a relief!

Having said this, why am I blogging? 

I am blogging as a written journal to my children who are preschoolers, middlers, teens, and adults.  It is a written testimony to them.   It also has addressed issues that have come up in our lives and I have taken a stand on what I believe in these things in a written way.   If anyone else finds the time or enjoys it or it is a help, then I am glad that it would be used in that way.   I hope a woman will not read my blog if her family and church are suffering.  I would much rather she build up her family and local church.  Some day it may be one of my adult children who live in her community and will need a strong local body of believers that committed Christians built because the local church was valued over other things.

Since I am not really a writer, I hope that no one ever mentions this blog to Mr. Pudewa.  My children are writing better than I am.  I can’t recall a time that I have ever had the time to add the dress-ups and the triple extensions.  It’s pretty plain-Jane text with me.  Now my mother’s name was Jane.  Maybe that’s not such a bad thing – being plain Jane.  

So, that’s my blog about blogs. 

Congratulations to Emily who just finished copying all of Psalm 119 in cursive handwriting.  This was her first lengthy cursive assignment.   The difference between the first and last verse of the Psalm is remarkable in mastering cursive.   She’ll be starting on Proverbs as soon as I purchase a new notebook for her.  This is one way in our home education program that I combine Bible, poetry, penmanship, copywork, and spelling into one assignment.   It was extra fun in that she finished writing it before Daddy finished preaching it at church!  His sermon for this week starts on verse 97.